Doing: Slacking at home
Music: The new song Jolin rap with Jay? No idea what's the title.. =x
Mood: End of Holidays.. >.<

Hey Hey..
been months since i last posted? i guessed the last time i remembered about posting was in August. now's Jan already, time really flies.. so how's life everybody? i guess no one's will be reading this blog anyway, after the owner's sudden disappearance.. this is good news though, i can start posting stuff that people won't get to know.. haha..

yeah, other than studies and stuff, i'm fine. just abit trouble now and then.. seems like heaven's still playing after all this while? haha, i've grown to accept fate anyway.. well, all these while i've been troubled by love again, what else huh? seems like i'm really popular between some groups of people whom i don't really know.. and i had no idea how they got my no. in the first place? prank calls and stuff.. urgh.. really feel like cancelling my hp plan..let no one contact me.. =x

anyway, i was saying my no. being given to many people. dunno how these ladies somehow managed to get my no anyway.. haiz, why make life more miserable for me? i find that, although i'm not really good looking, there's still many who like my type haha =P
i should be glad? but it seems more like a trouble to me. well if your phone rings whole day, even past midnight into late morning.. sms too, you'll be freaked out how many sms i receive everyday. sometimes when i never really pay notice to my hp there'll be like 5 to 6 sms waiting.. damn, i don't even feel like reading sometimes..

Nvm, enough of my troubles already. guess i'll have to face them myself.

Seems like i can't post too long, got to end here. continue next blog =P

Doing: Not doing anything
Music: Zhou Jie Lun [Ba Du Kong Jian] - Ban Dao Tie He
Mood: Hopeless

You know what?
i'm feeling damn bad now.. i can even cry i tell you.. but who will know? who's there to share with me? all i seems to be doing are things i shouldn't be doing.. i was supposed to be doing other stuff.. and today could have been a great day.. she called me.. even though its just for awhile at least she CALLED me! you know how great i felt then?

i went online to look for her.. yet i was being ignored.. or should i say i'm not the only one chatting with her? yeah.. and i spent the whole night sitting by my laptop staring at this damn screen waiting for her replies.. at first i went off as i really can't stand waiting for her.. she's not even replying..

in the end she dc.. and i didn't even know whether she's coming back.. so i waited there like an idiot again.. to know that in the end she won't be coming back.. from someone else.. yeah and why can't she msg me too? yeah i'm like a nobody.. I KNOW! am i hoping too much? am i really such an idiot? how come i'm always such stupid stuff? who am i anyway? i'm a NOBODY! so FORGET IT!

yeah.. laugh all you want.. i'm such a coward and i can only complain here.. but what really can i do? tell her that i'm suffering from her cruelty? then maybe she might be ignoring me for good? i don't wish to.. i won't let her know.. i doubt she will be reading all this stuff anyway..

its a crush..
yes..
and i can't help it can i?
someone helps me..

Doing: Slacking around..
Music: Zhou Jie Lun [Ba Du Kong Jian] - Ban Shou Ren..
Mood: Normal..

Hey..
its been long since that 'piss'ful day.. wondered what happened? nvm, its been so long already.. don't really remembered what happened anyway.. haha..

hmm.. today is a shiny day.. wondering what i'll doing later.. basketball? nah.. went yesterday.. swimming? nah.. no one accompanying me anyway.. really no idea what to do.. everyone seems to be so busy.. yet i'm here doing nothing.. haha..

hey.. i went to the library yesterday.. surprised? haha.. went to borrow a few books for my research on a project.. Internet Information Services 5.0, Win2k Server, Linux Apache, blah blah blah.. many stupid stuff.. most too chim for me to understand anyway.. haha..

someone pissed me off early in the morning.. he said we all agreed to meet 11am this morning in school.. there are 3 of us.. i didn't recall anything about the meeting.. so i didn't go.. the 3rd guy didn't go too.. msg us telling us he's busy with some important stuff and he couldn't join us.. nvm.. this aren't the first time he had 'important' stuff to do anyway.. just some lame excusses..

anyway.. he was in school by 11.. he called and yeah.. i was still sleeping.. definately.. i hate people calling me when i'm sleeping.. and my mood was rather foul then.. i really couldn't remember anything about the meeting.. so i told him i didn't know.. he's so pissed.. and without saying anything he cut my phone.. funny right? know how pissed i am? early morning? furthermore i sms him asking him whether he wish to do the proj at his house.. he didn't reply.. so i guess its a NO then? fine.. i'm more than happy not having to travel all the way to Woodlands.. you think its fun travelling that far? try it all the time then..

sigh.. JiaLin is so busy nowadays.. in fact she's the only JC student i know whom's studying so hard.. TingTing too.. studying hard for her 'O's.. everyone seems to neglecting me.. especially those important ones.. sigh.. i know they're all so busy.. but i'm just so lonely as well.. lol..

got to go..
important stuff..
cya..

pissed..

Doing: ICQing..
Music: No idea again..
Mood: Confused..?

Hmm..
rainy days.. you like rainy days? sky is red.. air is cold.. to most its just another rainy day, cool to sleep.. but somehow, somewhere, there are people who can't get any shuteye.. just like me.. and i bet in some corners in this world, there are people crying, suffering, or even dying as i'm blogging right this moment.. this is how the world goes.. i guess..

well, today aren't really a good day.. since when have i been having any good days anyway? i'm cold.. furthermore i've been sick for quite some time already.. i guess no one will ever realise i'm sick.. cause i don't show them i am.. but i'm feeling sick.. all these while i haven't been feeling well at all.. it aren't any big illnesses, but i'm just not feeling right.. nevermind.. who cares anyway..

today aren't really a great day for many i know too..
- poor Vannessa got retrenched for no particular reasons.. had her complaining to me the whole afternoon..
- poor Brian got rejected, although he doesn't really care.. he's just trying his luck.. lol.. that bastard.. he's just another playboy who's damn flirt.. i guess those girls whom had any relationships with him just aren't in luck.. ought to be shot.. bastard..
- poor poor Fion.. got ditched by her 'good and caring' bf.. serves her right.. told her i saw her bf holding hands and hugging with someone else, she just won't listen.. i'm no backstabbers, but i think she ought to know the truth.. its just too cruel to be left in the dark not able to differentiate between reality and fantasy.. she cried to me just now.. and my heart nearly soften up once more for her.. well.. once bitten twice shy.. i'm not going to be that stupid anyway Fion.. nice try..
- hmm.. poor Wendy is rushing her project as i'm typing here.. haha.. poor thing..
- ke lian de Jialin is having headaches.. so poor thing.. i bet she won't touch those panaldos too.. i pray she'll be better next morning.. if not she'll be very miserable in school.. sigh.. poor thing..

so what about me you ask? what happened to me today? ha.. i didn't go to school today.. overslept.. didn't hear my alarm go off.. and by the time i woke up my lessons were already over.. my classmates called asking me to come school.. i was like 'HUH?' the lecturer wanted me to join him at his 3pm lesson.. he told me today's lesson is kinda important.. but seriously.. who cares? who would wanna go school at 3pm just to attend his stupid and boring lessons? would you? i won't.. i swear i won't.. =]

i spent the whole day at home today, with my mom, accompanying her.. eh, my grandpa, my father's dad, he was hospitalised few days back.. so in the end the whole family went to visit him once again, without me of cause.. not like i'm so bad as i didn't visit him.. maybe i'm just too sad to see him pass away if the time comes.. but hey, heard from my mom he goner get discharged quite soon.. he will be spending the rest of his life on a wheelchair though, and he needs someone to take care of him.. not my grandma of cause.. she can't even take care of herself nowadays.. well, it goes this way.. my grandma and grandpa lives together in a 4 room flat nearby.. and my house is the nearest to theirs.. all their other children moved away after they got married, leaving the both of them there.. so, if my grandpa needs someone to take care of him now.. a maid, or maybe even a nurse, must be hired to take care after them.. here's where reality plays a part.. although some of my father's brothers and sisters are damn filthy rich, they just won't spare a cent.. and here's the interesting part.. my father has the chance to pay all my grandpa's hospital bills.. and my father just keeps quiet about it.. well, my family aren't rich.. or should i say my family's quite poor.. although the bills are still affordable, its straining everyone in this family.. the same goes to me too.. well, my father is a filial son.. i guess i have no choice.. that's my father's only good point too.. =]

actually i'm very confused nowadays.. seems like i still can't get rid of my bad habit? in the past, everytime i get to know someone new.. or even when i get to know someone better, if she's my type, i will like her no matter who she is.. lol.. sound stupid? i ought to get shot too.. together with that bastard Brian.. so now this makes me a bastard too.. maybe i really am.. furthermore, i realise 1 point.. although i really like her, but it seems like i can't get along with her well, and that usually means even if we're together, it won't be that nice after all? so should i just give up like this? i'm feeling so confused.. SO DAMN CONFUSED!!! i guess even if i want to, she won't be my girlfriend after all.. who needs such a guy anyway.. he aren't rich.. he didn't have the looks.. he aren't good.. and he's just a sore loser.. furthermore he's a bastard.. seriously.. who can save this guy? she must be some god damn godness.. lol.. =]

enough for the day.. seems like july aren't my month after all.. i endured too much rubbish lately.. really goner get it all out somedays.. i used to play people and get rid of them just to have fun and kill time.. hope i won't go back to my usual habits once again.. lol.. don't think i will.. that's ages ago.. and i swear i won't ever play anyone again.. and maybe that's the reason why i'm having my retribution now.. lol..

to all guys out there: don't be like me!
to all girls out there: don't like people like me!